This will be a long post.
I’m sitting on my couch with the family, complete with fizzy drink (or Soda…or Pop) and chocolate, watching the epic-ness that is the 2012 London Olympics Opening Ceremony. I don’t know how long it goes for, but it will be good! Though, to tell you the truth, I’m a little concerned about the farm life that’s wandering around the main stadium. Oh, here we go!
4, 3, 2, 1!!!
Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to the 2012 Olympics!!!
Oh my word, exciting!! And there he goes…ringing the bell. Though I don’t really know if one single dong counts as ringing. Oh well. And now we have one small boy singing…and then a choir of children over in Northern Ireland, and then Scotland…And Wales. And then England. A medley of songs from Britain…and hey! That’s what’s-his-face! Can’t remember what his name is. Many men with top hats. OH!!! It’s Professor Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets! THAT’s who he is. It is him eh…? Okay…this is a little weird. I’m worried for Britain right now. Please get better.
From Rural British to Industrial Britain.
A lady with long hair hitting drums, and a tree rises, out of which comes many men who are shouting. Minors maybe? Yeah, it looks like it. Look at all those people! Wow there are a thousand volunteer drummers apparently! Wow that woman playing the drums is profoundly deaf! She feels the vibrations through her feet apparently! I’m sorry, but that’s amazing!! What are they doing with those plants? I believe it is all building to up something great. I really hope so! The last Olympics in China – the opening ceremony was incredible! So they kinda have a lot to live up to. Here comes the towers, and a man on some string. Smoke. Smoke is good. Oscar is sitting next to Dad, watching it on the TV. He’s very interested. Oh dear, what’s gong on now? Why is he standing there? Suffragettes walking in now. Waving signs about wanting women to vote (though they haven’t once said
that it was actually New Zealand that first gave women the right to vote. Kate Shepherd for the win. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT). There are people up the towers. Okay poppies now.
Silence for the War. OH!! Colourful people!! THE BEATLES!! Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band! Immigrant ships. So through the 60s. Wow!! The ground has changed! And we have red people marching. A ring of fire, forges of the mining industry still. And some other people in sparkly outfits. Here are some flying rings. Forging some rings in the sky, making the Olympic rings? Yes. awesome. Wow! Fire rain! That was awesome! Very cool. A moment of everyone looking…looking…and cheering!
Okay, intermission: Daniel Craig/James Bond just met the Queen and her Corgis!!! HAHAHAH!! Hilarious!! She’s going in the helicopter!! Maybe she’ll light the last flame!! Because it’s her Jubilee year!! Oh my gosh! Exciting stuff!! Okay….calm down. Mum’s freaking out with excitement.
So now we have a blue stadium, and a helicopter arriving. With James Bond/Daniel Craig….jumping out of the plane…? HAHAHAHAH!!! With the Queen!? HAHAHA!!! Oh dear!! Priceless!! NOW that’s a double of the Queen. But she will probably turn up! That’s fantastic!! I love it!!! And there she is!
“Please stand for the Queen.”
Oh, that’s great. Mum says “Oh that’s lovely. A really nice touch.”
Hey look. The Archbishop. I met him last week. Casual. The Royal Naval, Army and Royal Air Force, with the flag of Great Britain; the Union Jack (which we still have in the corner of our New Zealand flag). Walking up the hill (which looks like it needs Hobbit holes in it. Seriously, it could be Hobbiton in New Zealand); raising the flag, and singing the National Anthem. Cute; they’re in their pyjamas and are signing it. That’s beautiful. Oh, she moved her bottom lip, the Queen – that’ll count as a smile. Oh pretty lights!!
What have we got now!? No WAY are they celebrating the NHS?! That’s ridiculous! The NHS is absolutely ridiculous! Don’t even get me started! Oh dancing! Trampoline beds! I like that! I would like one! Oh dear, it is actually about the NHS. My word!
Only in England. Swing dancing is way too awesome! Love it! Aw, bed times for the children in their glowing trampoline beds. There’s a moon in the centre, and it’s glowing, as are the ‘sleeping’ children.
J.K ROWLING! Wooo! She’s awesome! Love her. Children’s Lit is now the theme. We have: Child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang; some weird monkey-like creatures; scared hospital people; floating beds; Cruela DeVille; Voldemort from Harry Potter….okay, this hospital is creepy as! Wouldn’t want to be a kid there. Okay, now we have Mary Poppins! Many many of them! Here she comes to save the day! Get rid of all the nasties…and the kids are happy again! Yay! Irish dancing? In their pyjamas? Pretty sure there’s nothing better!! Oh now what?
My little sister: “Oh! I would love to have Mary Poppins tuck me in to bed!”
Now there’s a baby on the ground, and they’ve made a womb….? Bit weird, but there we have it.
ROWAN ATKINSON!!! HAHAHAHAHHAAHH!!! That’s so freakin’ hilarious!! She’s making the dop dop dop dop dop dop dop noises in the song Chariots of fire! HAHAHA! And now he’s texting. Brilliant. So brilliant! Sneezing now. Doing the typical Mr. Bean. And now he’s dreaming about Chariots of Fire…and now he’s in it! Hilarious! Flip. He’s so funny! I love it! And he’s cheating and took a cab. Look at his face! Hilarious! All you Americans reading this – did you laugh!? I think that a lot of the world doesn’t understand the humour of Mr. Bean and Rowan. Bit wow. Hilarious! Love it!!
Who’s this arriving in a red mini coop? Oh dear! Hurricane time!! Typical English weather?
Apparently we’re up to the Technological stage of Britain. Very cool! With all the lights and what not. The house has turned into a TV now. Huge glow sticks! Awesome. British music in a montage, along with technology holding teens and glow sticks. Dance mobs!
70s now I think. “Talking bout my generation!” Rolling Stones music and a lollipop song? The Kinks! Beatles! Peace sign! Awesome!! My sister: “I was born in the wrong era”. Yeah same, Miki. Same. Was that Kiss? A star! Pretty!! David Bowie! Queen! Punk rockers? Sex Pistols. Smiley face! Awesome! The Eurhythmics! Love this song! But who is that? I don’t know who that is? That house with the
screen on it is awesome. Her hair is incredible! Aw! Walking together! Nirvana, and kissing scenes on the House. And now we have a live performance by Dizzy Rascal. And a bit of Bollywood? Oh, because the guy Danny Boyle designed the Opening Ceremony stuff, and he did Slum Dog Millionaire. And Amy Winehouse. And Muse. Tiny Temper. Grime music was born in East London
apparently, according to the commentator.
And the house has moved. And underneath is a tribute to Sir Tim Berners-Lee, who was the person who invented the World Wide Web. Without him, I wouldn’t be typing this right now. Cheers Sir Tim.
And here comes the flame! After going over 12 thousand miles, here it is, arriving on the Thymes River, with David Beckham. He looks like James Bond on that. Stink he’s not playing this year on the team. He must be so gutted about that! Awesome that he got to be such a huge part of the flame carrying and the
Olympics. A now a sad montage of faces who could not be there, some of which died in the bombing on July 7th, 7 years ago. Sad stuff. There’s a big yellow balland some dust dancers. And a small boy. I think this dance and song must be for the those people who died in the bombing. Dancing to a heartbeat. beautiful. Yellow people and reddy orange people. Orange lights on the floor and it’s really pretty really. A bit sad too. There’s the little boy, a man walking towards him. Some interesting hand moves. A hug. Abide with Me. Beautiful. A bow and a cheer.
And that ends the beginning. Now for the Procession of countries.
And Great Britain. There they are. And the crowds are screaming and there’s lots and lots of noise! There lots likes snow is falling from the ceiling. But don’t worry…it’s just confetti. Good to see the Queen watching intently. Ha! She’s playing with her finger nails. There are 7 billion pieces of confetti – one for every single person in the world….HEY I FOUND ME!
Wow 540 members of the GB team. That’s a lot. But I would just like to say, that New Zealand has 184 athletes, and that, from a country of 4 million, is absolutely awesome!
And now the Arctic Monkeys. With some very awesome lights and fireworks. And now a Beatles cover. And some dove bicycles that glow!! It’s awesome!!! And now there’s one flying! Awesome! Wow! I hope you’ve watched it!
A speech from the Committee of the Olympics. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
And move on now. You’ve motivated everyone enough now…
French guy talking…it’s all the same as the last Olympics.
Her Majesty, the Queen, will now open the games. Short speech, with cue cars and fireworks. The Olympic flag is brought out by important people. Very nice. Beautiful to salute such wonderful people in our world. What an honour. And there is Mr. Muhammad Ali.
Please stand for the Olympic Anthem.
The flags look awesome on the Hobbithill, and as the Olympic flag is raised to join the Union Jack, cameras and flashing and people are grinning, and the flame comes on the boat with David Beckham. We still don’t know who will take the flame from here though. Let’s watch…okay! Oh! It’s Sir Steven Geoffery Redgrave. And there he goes, across the canal, inside the stadium and the oath is given by Sarah Stevenson. And Mik Basy, for the judges. And Eric Farrell, for all coaches. I don’t think Olympism is a word…
Finally, the Olympic Flame! Past all the builders of the stadium and opening ceremony. Pause for effect…and handed to the next generation of athletes to who run around the stadium. It’s such a nice touch! What a great idea! And they are hugged and now they all have a torch…and now they are all lit. Running around again, inspiring a generation, to light the cauldron. Literally passing the torch, as the commentator said. They place them on those weird metal things, one for every country, and they come alive, and an entire ring is the flame. Wonderful. They are rising up, converging up and to the middle, to make on flame. Over 200 countries coming together to make one Olympic games, to make one world. Beautiful. That truly is amazing. And the final element: fireworks! Everywhere! Fantastic! London, despite my hesitance at the beginning with the goats and horses and geese in the stadium, you have done a great job. High five.
And Paul McCartney sings us off into the night. And the bell is struck. Paul continues. Hey Jude.
So the Olympics return to London for the 3rd time, an unmatched amount of times; with a start like that, it’s bound to be a good two weeks. This is the very first year, the very first Olympics, in which every single country competing as women athletes in their teams. And that there, is something that needs to be celebrated. To all the athletes: good luck! Do your best and have fun! To everyone else: cheer them on, and watch the awesomeness that is the Olympics.
It was a great opening ceremony, and even though I’ve been sitting here for nearly 6 hours watching…it was worth it.